In just a few days my mini me will be two years old. Yes… already! Can someone PLEASE tell me where the time went?! *checks under couch*
1. Everything’s different. No, like, every. thing.
If you think for a moment that you’re gonna be able to do even the simplest things the same way you did before the kid arrived, you’re in for a rude awakening, sister!
The good news is, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you adapt. Things like using the bathroom while carefully holding an infant who can’t leave your side and taking four-minute showers become second nature in no time! *thumbs up*
My biggest adjustment has been the loss (for lack of a better word) of freedom. For almost eight years of marriage, we could just up and grab dinner and a movie or I could head to events as I pleased. We now have to plan way in advance so as to secure a babysitter. It doesn’t always work out but knowing that going in helps me not get too down about it.
Oh, and your relationship with your mate also changes. Trying to figure out parenthood while attempting to keep the flame going and have adult conversation between feedings, diaper changes and baby talk is a lot! But having a good foundation has saved my husband from these hands! LOL!
2. YOU change.
I’ve never considered myself as being good with kids. I’d never really know what to say, how to act. It just wasn’t… me. But, here we are!
I’m a little more patient (you absolutely have to be!), I’m far more nurturing than I thought I’d be and my cat-like reflexes are almost frightening! If you’re a mom, you know! If you’re a soon-to-be mom, you will!
Jacket -Gap (old) try this or this | Jeans, Tee, Shades – Old Navy | Toia’s Sneakers – Nike | Stroller – Graco | Micah’s Sneakers – try these
3. You won’t matter (as much) for a while.
Fact: Everything’s about the baby.
Folks (some, not all) will almost always ask about the baby before they ask how you’re doing, whether the baby is with you or not. I get it. He’s cute and squishy. But just because I’m used to it/expect it don’t mean I like it! LOL! Yesterday, while I was sans toddler, someone looked me dead in my face, looked around and said, “where is he?” *insert squinty side eye here*
What. About. Meeeee?! *sobs*10 Lessons I've Learned Since Becoming a Mom! #momlife Click To Tweet
4. Ask for help.
Feelings of overwhelm have come more than once. Wasn’t a pretty picture! I finally realized I wasn’t asking for help as much as I should, which I talk more about here.
Whether it’s to help you do some grocery shopping or just to hold the baby while you take a much-needed shower, get help. You will drive yourself batty tryna do everything on your own. It’s unrealistic to think you can!
Jacket -Gap (old) try this or this | Jeans, Tee, Shades – Old Navy | Sneakers – Nike | Baby Bag – Skip Hop | Stroller – Graco
5. People will be people.
People having been talking about other people for centuries. In the case of mommying, these will usually be the people who don’t know you and your story all that well to begin with. So try not to worry so much about what other people think of your parenting skills or if folks are judging you (p.s. I’m still working on this!).
6. There is no ONE way to ‘Mom’!
Some moms and even non-moms will judgingly (you can tell by the tone) offer their two cents on how they or their moms did things. Whatever non-judgey advice I can use now, I do. The rest gets filed away as “things to use later” or “does not apply”. Both my child and I are unique. Others’ experiences are fine to reference but, basically, you find your own way and what works for you.There's no ONE way to 'mom'. You find your own way... what works for YOU! #momlife Click To Tweet
Jacket -Gap (old) try this or this | Jeans, Tee – Old Navy | Similar Shades here | Sneakers – Nike | Baby Bag – Skip Hop | Stroller – Graco
7. Don’t feel guilty about taking care of you!
Back to the people who think your baby should be attached to you 24-7… girl, pay them no mind. When you can get a break, take it and go do something for yourself! You deserve it. Every two weeks, I leave the kid with hubby and get my nails “did”. Please and thanks!
Grab a shower, brush your teeth and make sure you eat. Self care and me-time are important for your sanity and, ultimately, your child’s well-being! They can’t get the care they need if you’re a bundle of nerves running on fumes.
Nail Color – essie “Nama-Stay the Night” | Watch – JORD | Sneakers – Nike (buy here)
8. Stay connected with mommy friends.
They can be a great resource just to vent or to allay any fears that your child is doing something out of the norm if they’re a “veteran” mom. Sharing with moms whose children are around the same age as yours can also help to reassure you that you’re not alone in your struggles.
9. It Doesn’t ‘Get Easier’. It Gets Different!
Can I get an “AMEN”?!
From the lack of sleep to not knowing why your baby is crying, you will have your rough days. Approximately 96% of your mom friends will tell you “it gets easier”. Mmmnah, I don’t think so.
Here’s the real: the trials you experience with your child will just be different with each stage. While I’m no longer dealing with an infant who cries through the night, I have a toddler who, among other things, throws tantrums. Not easier. Different.Motherhood: It doesn't 'get easier'. It gets DIFFERENT! #momlife Click To Tweet
10. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
You’re not perfect. You will mess up. But, guess what? It’s okay! Motherhood is hard. It just is. Your mistakes don’t mean you’re doing it all wrong… they mean you’re trying!
At the end of the day, when you’re beating yourself up for all the things you didn’t do and all the things you wish you hadn’t done, stop. Stop and start to listing your blessings.
Bomber Jacket -Gap (old) try this or this | Sleeveless Tee – Old Navy | Similar Shades here | Watch – JORD
All in all, this has been a very interesting ride so far and I look forward to seeing what the future holds for me and my little man! Can’t wait til he starts talking for real… or can I? LOL!
What are some things YOU’VE learned since becoming a mom?
PC: Tiffany Wilder of TiffanyArlene.com